But now for something completely different…
Christmas Spirit
‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
It was totally bedlam,
Thanks to the mouse.
He’d nibbled the chocolate
And eaten the cheese
So at midnight that night
I was down on my knees
Praying for Santa
To put it all right,
To give us a Christmas
Not totally shite.
The fairy was frowning,
Well, it can’t be much fun
With Christmas tree needles
Stuck up your bum.
But hark, who is this
Who creeps in the dark?
A shepherd or two
Out for a lark?
Or a king bearing gifts
Gold, incense or myrrh?
Not bloody likely,
It’s something with fur.
A fox in the garden
Dragging at bins
Pulling out rubbish
Rattling the tins.
That’s all I need
Where’s my Christmas cheer?
I look to the sky
Where are those reindeer?
And that’s when I see them
Dusted lightly with snow
Rudolf the leader
His nose all aglow.
They land in my garden
The fox dashes off
I say ‘Hello Santa’
He looks quite a toff.
`He puts his arm round me
Hmm, things are improving
But then he says
‘Sorry, got to keep moving.
I know it’s been tough
I know it’s been rotten
You’ve had a bad year
And maybe you’ve gotten
A little bit bitter
And very upset
But think of it this way
How bad can it get?
A lot worse than this
I’ve got to say
So for God’s sake cheer up
It’s now Christmas Day.
And with that he was off
All in a flurry
Less incense and myrrh
More a slight smell of curry.
I went back inside
To hell with the fox
And that’s when I saw it
A bloody great box.
Things for the kids
And something for me
I took them all out
To put under the tree.
©.Maggie Himsworth 2016
Great giggle, thanks for sharing and thanks to Maggie for writing it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, Paul, that was quick!! Thank you so much.Judithx
LikeLiked by 1 person
A lump of poetic humour just what Shakespeare ordered. Well done Jools for sharing and great work Maggie keep them coming.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Ellen, Maggie will be so pleased you enjoyed her work.judithx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loved it. On Thursday my writers’ group has an evening of Christmas readings and I’d like to take Maggie’s poem to share if that’s okay?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure that will be fine, Mary. Nice to know Maggie’s work will be spread around. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sure they’ll love it.
LikeLike
Great!!
LikeLike
Fabulous 😀 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so, Cathy. Maggie produces a lot of good writing.Jx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for your comments. It’s really encouraging to have such positive feedback. And thanks to Judith for posting. Maggie
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Maggie. Great fun.Jx
LikeLike
Loved it! ❤
LikeLike
Good fun all round,eh Debby! Reading PS I Forgive You at the moment. What can I say…Jx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh! That’s funny because I replied to your heartfelt comment on my post and suggested you to pick up a free copy! ❤ Glad you did xo
LikeLike
I did, Debby. Thank you.judithx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well done Maggie, you are right it did make me laugh
LikeLike
Glad you enjoyed it, Regina.
LikeLike