Another Offering from Alan. A Performance ‘Rant’ Poem #MondayBlogs

Another hilarious gem from Alan Roberts, student of one of my creative writing classes. His first two posts were here:  and here:

 His last post was rather more thought provoking:

But here he  gives us an insight to what he rants about. He sang this to us in class (he actually has a great voice!0

A Performance ‘Rant’ Poem

(Sung to ‘My Favourite Things’ from the Sound of Music)


Cellophane covers you cannot unravel

Berks on their mobiles who call as they travel

Automated checkouts, where you need a degree

To not end up paying for things that are free.


Hundreds of passwords I never remember

Christmas ads in August instead of December

Scammers who ring us to lie and confuse

Stories they spin are all merely a ruse.


White lines on highways that no-one considers

Chewing gum spat out by kids and sightseeers

Owners of dogs who let them roam free

To crap on my garden and pee on the tree.


All our bobbies,

Dressed like zombies

With no time to chat

So I simply remember these things make me mad

And then I don’t get wound up.


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