You suck at masking, Batperson. Please tell me I’m not your father…  [In honor of Father’s Day, here is an excerpt from my book, Life Begins When The Kids Leave Home And The Dog Dies.]

Top Ten Reasons NOT to Be My Father

10. Gift-Aversion: Some things in life are easy to do – gush over babies, write blogs, cure cancer. Some are harder – get a bikini-wax, reform the tax structure, buy my father a present. With ten kids, he got a LOT of birthday/Christmas/Father’s Day presents. It’s not that he didn’t appreciate what we gave him. “This (wallet/tie/shirt/belt) is just what I needed,” he would thank us. Then he’d repackage the wallet/tie/shirt/belt and put it away to marinate in his drawer for a few years. [Full disclosure: there may have been a few occasions when we re-wrapped the wallet/tie/shirt/belt offerings and re-gifted them. Luckily, each time they…