Dear Self-Confidence….An Open Letter to My New Friend

Lovely heart-warming post

Judy E Martin's avatarEdwina's Episodes

Dear Self-Confidence,

I am so proud that we have finally forged a friendship after a life-time of avoiding each other. Of course, I knew of your existence when I was a little girl. but you were always in the distance, hanging around with Outgoing, Popular and Fearless, whilst I played in the shadows with Shy, Timid and Awkward. Actually these three were to remain loyal companions for many, many years.

During my school years, you were still just a little out of reach, and I coasted along with my usual crowd, and  joined up with Average, and Unremarkable. I always wanted to get to know you, but you became more elusive when I got caught smoking, and ended up in the Deputy Head’s office.  She rather firmly introduced me to Failure, Shame and Embarrassment. That was it for the rest of my school days, I knew my place, amongst these…

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This is My Mum.

This is My Mum.. She’s the one on the left. Next to her (the dark-haired toddler, is her sister Olive, who lived with us for many years) …

mum & Olive when babies

This is My Mum, a photograph taken in her early teens …

mum young woman1

This is My Mum –  The girl on the left …

Mum around sixteen

This is My Mum, elegantly posed in her late teens…

mum - young woman

This is My Mum in her Auxiliary Territorial Service (ATS) uniform during the war…

mum in Army

This is My Mum – on her wedding Day to Dad. Sitting in a car in a photographer’s studio with a pretend background …

Mum & Dad - wedding day

This is My Mum – with my sister and me – I’m the grumpy-looking blond one…

mum in her thirties

mum with us on the beach

This is My Mum in her forties outside the house she lived in until 2014 …

mum around forty five

This is My Mum in her sixties, enjoying the sun in the garden …

mum in the back garden

This is My Mum -aged eighty, at our son’s wedding …


mum purple suit

This is My Mum …

mum thrfee months ago

This is My Mum …

I will give her some dignity so I won’t show her as she is now;  a small frail figure huddled under the bedclothes. She  sleeps most of the time, only speaks the odd disconnected word, she’s doubly incontinent and can’t feed herself, 

My Mum would not have wanted to live like this. I do not want her to have to to live like this. I wouldn’t want to live like this  What I should say is … ‘exist like this.’

 You’ve seen the photographs of my mum as she was. That’s how I want to remember her.  In a similar way, that’s how I want my children to remember me.

This why I wanted to write this post. 

 

Blogging – And How I Got it Wrong

I think I’ve had the wrong idea about blogging. When I first started writing a blog it was to introduce myself to others and to get to know other writers/ authors/poets/artists. Oh and to find different genres of books.

One of my first blogs that disappeared into the ether and was apparently seen by no one! http://www.judithbarrow.co.uk/11-random-facts-about-me/

But I’ve been lucky; I’ve made some online friends along the way who, I hope, would be the kind of friend I’d like to have in ‘real’ life. Some, especially, have been so supportive.

http://bit.ly/1F9PBUW

http://bit.ly/1LLzdQ6

/ http://bit.ly/1KvuYJR

http://bit.ly/1KVVozc

http://uviart.blogspot.co.uk/p/guest-interview.html

http://thestoryreadingapeblog.com/

And I’ve tried to help and support in return.

But lately I’ve noticed two things. There have been posts asking for more followers (one in particular was asking to raise the numbers because it was her/his birthday). And the others have been blogs to celebrate that a certain number of followers has been achieved.

Chasing numbers.

Now don’t get me wrong; if that’s what’s important to these bloggers, that’s fine, it’s no business of mine. And there has to be a reason for ‘upping the ante’ to get to a certain number of followers. For instance, perhaps, for authors, it’s about finding new readers, or, for certain causes, it’s to highlight that charity/society/ organisation.

And then I read this from Hugh: http://linkis.com/hughsviewsandnews.com/Sy3Um

And I remembered Hugh’s blog from a while ago: http://linkis.com/hughsviewsandnews.com/Lf7r6

I read it again. I mulled over this for a while. I looked back at some of my own posts. I saw who’d commented and/or shared. I thought about it. I left the thought to simmer.

Wise advice in both posts.

And it’s occurred to me that I jumped on the band wagon – so to speak – and I’ve  dutifully followed everyone who, I’ve been informed, follows me.

But I have a problem (well, actually I have lots of problems – thought I’d add that bit before I heard a wave of snorts of derision; ‘a problem, Judith?’ ‘Just the one problem?’) My problem is I have two sites I blog from, purely by choice. It’s been a deliberate choice. I use my other site: http://www.judithbarrow.co.uk/ initially for my personal posts, the ones I actually write myself: about my life and the things that have happened to me, my own interviews with authors, my reviews of the books I read for Rosie Amber’s Review Team; https://rosieamber.wordpress.com/ . On this site: https://judithbarrowblog.com/   I copy the blogs from the first site but mainly I use BarrowBlogs to mention/promote other authors, other bloggers’ interviews with authors, other peoples’ thoughts on all sorts of subjects.

Having the two sites works for me.

And I do try to follow the excellent advice given here: http://dreambigdreamoften.co/2015/08/30/how-to-share-your-way-to-more-exposure/

So what to do? I don’t want to be like the blogger who wrote a post saying that she had so many followers she’d stopped reading anything they wrote and just ‘liked’ the posts. I try to read everything I’m sent. And yes, I know that’s probably daft and very few do that. But I do!

I’ve made a decision! I’ve decided it’s quality not quantity. Besides I’ve noticed that the same bloggers who do  like my contributions to the blogging world, also share other types of posts I’m interested in; what I would choose to like, share and comment on. I won’t name them; it wouldn’t be fair. But they do know who they are.

So, I’m thinking, why not just follow and share their posts?

To sum up, I’m taking Hugh’s advice and have trawled through the bloggers I’ve been following for ages and who he calls ‘Ghost Followers’. I’ll carry on much the same when it comes to commenting and sharing stuff I’ve enjoyed reading – but I’ll keep an eye out and delete those who ‘pretend’ to follow but don’t. Please don’t think of that as a threat, it’s not; it’s what I intend to do for ‘self – care’.

I read this today http://yadadarcyyada.com/2015/08/27/message-in-a-bottle/  and I know that the way I blog isn’t perfect (or even close to it) And it’s up to anyone to decide whether  I’m interesting or boring and to follow or not

But the bottom line is I can’t carry on supporting those who I never see hide or hair of.

I’ll always try to acknowledge anybody who takes the trouble to let me know they’ve seen any of my personal posts; it’s only courteous and I enjoy the banter.  I do like meeting and chatting to people but …  I need to stay connected with my ‘friendly’ bloggers

And, like you all, I have a life away from here. And a book to write

See you on the other side of the screen.

Judith

Oh – a bit of a promotion here:

Links to my books:

Amazon .co.uk:

http://amzn.to/1z7ojhY

http://amzn.to/1N3GPQ6

http://amzn.to/1Fth8jR

Amazon.com:

http://amzn.to/1IxMhTA

http://amzn.to/1EsonO3

http://amzn.to/1Kn8QBU

Honno.co.uk:

http://honno.co.uk/index.php

http://bit.ly/1O2M7IL

http://bit.ly/1JGhULC

http://bit.ly/1Un5iPu

med full colour honno logo

“Feeds with Stilbosol keep us in the cattle businss today”… 1956 DES advert

Horrendous

In case you were wondering – TSRA BLOG UPDATE…

5 Techniques for Amazing Internal Dialogue

Great tips

Chris The Story Reading Ape's avatarChris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

To read this informative article by Marcy Kennedy,

click on her photo or link below:

Marcy-Kennedy

5-techniques-for-amazing-internal-dialogue/

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Ten things I’ve learned from my copyeditor

Ana Spoke's avatarAna Spoke, author

Despite being the single highest cost of self-publishing so far, the copyedit will be the one expense I will never regret.

That would have been the list if this article was entitled “A single most important thing I’ve learned”. But it’s not, so there are ten more below. Which I guess makes it eleven…never mind! Anyway, after getting eight quotes and four samples from Australian and American editors, I chose Lu Sexton of A Story to Tell to copyedit Shizzle, Inc and I’m blown away with the results. To be honest, I had a lot of reservations about paying for editing. After all I’ve already had a structural edit; I’ve revised the draft no less than a hundred times myself; I speaka English real good. Handing over cash for a promise of making your draft better is scary, even if that promise comes with a professional reputation and an exceptional…

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Where’s the Most Unusual Place You’ve Had a Book-Signing?

I arrive at my book-signing event to be greeted with a small table covered with an immaculate table cloth, my books already displayed, a notice announcing my presence  and, as always, a lovely vase of flowers as a centrepiece. The staff are friendly and chatty (today it’s Carolyn … and Sharon, complete with big smiles ). I already know them; after all I’ve been holding book-signings here for the last five years and I’ve been a customer of the shop for more years than I care to remember. Nothing unusual in that, I hear you say; we’ve all done events in stores we know. But this venue is special, this is our local chemist, Kilgetty Pharmacy. And, when first forced to admit to myself that I needed to go forth and sell, this was the second local event I was welcomed to.

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Putting on a pose – me with Jane Gilbert (who owns the shop with her husband, Bart)

I’d talked with Jane about my writing for years (I’m not sure she ever thought I’d be published but she was always tremendously encouraging). Anyway, the day that Pattern of Shadows came out I couldn’t wait to show her. Without hesitation she asked, would I like to hold a book-signing in the shop. I was thrilled – thought there was nothing odd about appearing at a chemist. Up to date I’ve been four times, they’ve sold loads of my books,and I’ll be there again just before Christmas.

Kilgetty Pharmacy isn’t just a place where people go to have prescriptions filled; it’s an Aladdin’s cave of  goodies. It’s where I’ve bought gorgeous scarves and unusual handbags.  Husband tries to ban me from going into the  shop; the temptations to buy are always too strong!

And their claim to fame? In 2013, in a UK wide Easter  competition held by Bronley for the best window display, this chemist  won first prize. I believe the prize was a jolly to Paris for two of the staff!!

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A few shots of the busy shop … er … well it was busy until I produced my mobile to take photos … then the staff scuttled off and customers disappeared. (I made the mistake of asking permission.) Hah!

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Two kind ladies who did agree to pose, while looking for a present. There are treasures for all kinds of occasions: Engagements, Weddings, Births,, Birthdays (from one to a hundred years old!)) Celebrations of all kinds, Cards, Festive ornaments, Treats for pets, Treats for the birds in the garden … and … and …

Highlight of the day? No less than three sales  reps came in to sell their stock to the shop … and I sold  a signed copy of one of my books to  each of the . Yay!!

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My thanks go to  Jane & Bart Gilbert, Carolyn Finlay,, Sharon, Val, Linda, Carolyn Jones,  Jane Goldsmith and Sue  for a great day. See you next time!

So, all you authors out there – a challenge! Where’s the most unusual place  you’ve held a book signing? Do please tell – with photos if possible!

Links:

http://amzn.to/1fPSfJ5

https://www.facebook.com/judith.barrow.3

https://twitter.com/barrow_judith

https://plus.google.com/+JudithBarrowauthor

LinkedIn: http://bit.ly/1fNP6t2

Bit of self publicity here:

Hush! The first two books of the trilogy are on offer at £1.89 at the moment.

Pattern of Shadows: http://amzn.to/1Denx74

Changing Patterns: http://amzn.to/1MxOvJ0

Living in the Shadows: the last of the trilogy, published in July: http://amzn.to/1JzO3Jh

All also available in paperback on Amazon and from my publishers

http://www.honno.co.uk/med full colour honno logo

Woman of the week: Judith Barrow and her new release: Living in the Shadows

What a wonderful surprise – bowled over by this gesture from the ever – generous Christoph

Christoph Fischer's avatarwriterchristophfischer

Author Judith BarrowOver the last week I’ve seen a lot of blog posts about a very talented writer and a wonderful woman: Judith Barrow.

So I’ve decided to crown her Woman of the Week!download (3)

Check out some of her memories here:

http://scvincent.com/2015/07/26/guest-author-judith-barrow-memories-a-short-story-and-a-new-book/

Here she is as  interview guest on my blog a while ago.

Here is her contribution to womens healthweek:

https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2015/07/27/womens-health-week-guest-author-judith-barrow-breast-cancer-survivor-2/
Living in the Shadows by Judith Barrow

And this is her new book:

Living in the Shadows which concludes her amazing trilogy.

Here is an article on Judith’s blog about the inspiration behind it :

https://judithbarrowblog.com/2014/11/23/the-inspiration-behind-pattern-of-shadows/

I’ve got the book at home and can’t wait to get a chance to read it.

11709622_10152843596167132_2407312062150219848_n

Find the Book on Amazon US and UK

Connect with Judith on her blog 

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What’s in a Book’s Elevator Pitch?

Didn’t realise I was doing an ‘elevator pitch’ when I sold one of my books to the guy who delivered them to the door. Must have worked! Wish now I could remember what I said!

Ron Herron's avatarPainting With Light

elevator2An Elevator Ride Doesn’t Last Very Long

Every author has been in the position where someone asks them to describe his/her book. It happened to me several times at a book-signing last Saturday (although, if you read my previous blog post, it didn’t happen as often as I hoped it would).*

What’s your book about?

The answer you give to that question is called an “elevator pitch.”

The term itself comes from the scenario of an accidental meeting with someone important. It’s any quick, catchy pitch you can deliver in the short time it takes for an elevator to reach its destination.

I’m sure you’ve heard the term before. I didn’t invent it. It’s been around the business world for decades. Now, however, as an indie author you need to think about it in terms of your new book.

By preparing an elevator pitch in advance for your book…

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Three Quote Challenge – III

Sue Vincent's avatarSue Vincent's Daily Echo

dawn 003

“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”

Oscar Wilde


Éilis, whose poetry and writing you can find on The Sound of What Happens,  tagged me in the Three Quote Challenge.

First, you thank the person who tagged you. Then, post a quote you love on three consecutive days. Choose another person to carry on, if they so choose and have the time.

I’d like to invite S.K. Nicolls, author of Red Clay and Roses to participate. Hope you’ll join in, Susan!

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000031_00016]

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How to survive your fictional characters all night bickering in six easy ways…

very useful advice. Hah!

Chris The Story Reading Ape's avatarChris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

It is two AM. You are wrestling with one of your fictional characters as to, well it really depends on your fictional character. Mine decided that the furry Ape needed another blog post. Actually, it was one of her decrees. And don’t tell her, I just referred to her as a fictional character! Please!

Frankly, if you start using your fictional character’s name as passwords for your real life social networks and other electronic devices, you are a goner. My friend you may as well kiss your sleep good-bye. If she or he (let me just stick with one pronoun from now on) decides that you will absolutely listen to her at two AM, no earplug ever invented is going to shut her out.

1. Get up and write

First of all, you may as well get up out from that comfy duvet and get to your primary writing device…

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Review: “Death in a Red Canvas Chair: A Rhe Brewster Mystery” by N Granger

Another great review for a N Granger book!

Christoph Fischer's avatarwriterchristophfischer

18132001Review for Death in a Red Canvas Chair: A Rhe Brewster Mystery (Rhe Brewster Mysteries Book 1) by N Granger

This is a quirky cosy mystery with ER nurse Rhe Brewster at the centre of the investigation. When her son plays soccer and she discovers a body dumped by the side of the game, Rhe alarms the authorities and before you know it, she is deeply involved in solving the case. Rhe is quite a character, the most apt description of herself is: “despite his PhD in Psychology he (her husband) still doesn’t understand me.” I think many would struggle and that is what makes her such a wonderful and watchable protagonist.
Familiar with Sheriff Sam there is little that can stop her.
The victim was a college student and the investigation starts to step on Rhe’s husband’s toes, a professor at the same college.
The plot is quite complex…

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Guest Post – Nicholas C. Rossis: Finding Inspiration

“What if we pity them only because we can’t see the full picture? “A quote from one of Nicholas’ short stories – The Twist in the Tale. Having lived with two of my relative who’s suffered this dreadful desease, this question made me stop and think. A great interview..

Sue Vincent's avatarSue Vincent's Daily Echo

I am delighted to host Nicholas C. Rossis today as he launches his new book, Infinite Waters, a collection of short stories. Nicholas is the award winning author of a number of books, including the superb Pearseus series that cleverly blends the best of Sci-Fi with elements of mythology and philosophy, as well as the delightful Runaway Smile, a children’s story in which a young boy discovers that the only smiles that matter are the ones that are shared.

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Nicholas’ blog is a popular one; full of informative articles on writing, publishing and marketing, often tinged with humour and with links to a number of stories to read free online. Quite apart from that, he is a genuinely supportive writer and a nice guy. No surprise then that he has received several nominations for the upcoming Annual Blogger’s Bash Awards, hosted by Sacha Black.

Finding Inspiration

writeratwork (2)Like many…

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100-Word Challenge for Grownups -Week 157

Let's CUT the Crap!'s avatarHow the Cookie Crumbles

Check out below, on how it’s done and come on down:

https://jfb57.wordpress.com/2015/06/29/100-word-challenge-for-grown-ups-week157-2/

This week’s prompt is … at last we were free… + 100 words

100wcgu-72

A New Page

Trina had to pull herself together. I need a cold shower. She pounded on her roommate’s bedroom door. Quiet as a tomb.

“Sarah. Wake up.” Trina squinted at the clock down the hall. “Come on, kiddo.” She gave the door another whack and proceeded to the bathroom and turned the water on. Then off. Odd. She paused. Blinked. And retraced her steps. “Time to sober up.” She turned the knob. “It’s Graduation Day. Remember we said we were free to start… Sarah…? A new page for the rest of our lives?

“You’re so cold.”

Oh. My. God.

Where’s my cell? “I need an ambulance. Hurry-please!”

The End

© 2015 Tess and How the Cookie Crumbles All Rights Reserved

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